Hey girl, I realized that I never had a proper post about the impact you made in my life, so perhaps this would be the first and last one.
You were one of the few persons who mattered a whole lot to me in my life, and up till this day, you still do, but I don’t know if I can do it anymore after all that I’ve seen and known. Wicked; what a strong word to use on me. I wish I could say it didn’t hurt, but the fact is that it hurts like a bitch. For someone whom I loved so dearly to call me wicked? I doubt you know how it really feels when it actually dawns on you.
I won’t go asking what did I do to deserve this. If the special bonding we had for 5 years ain’t enough to assure and let y’know my true colors and what kinda person I really am, then I guess nothing ever will. You have your rights to believe in who you want to, and what you’d like to. I won’t go explaining myself, ‘cos I’ve always believed in the saying “Never explain yourself to anyone. Because the person who likes you doesn’t need it and the person who dislikes you won’t believe it.”
I assume that it’s already clear which side you’ve chosen to stand on, and I’ll respect your decision nevertheless.
I guess I was wrong in thinking that you were one of the few who understood me the most all along… Yet a part of me still believes so. If all the joy, tears, laughter, talks, stupid things we’ve done together and all the cherished moments aren’t enough to make you see what’s within me, then like what I’ve mentioned; nothing ever will…
I admit my actions were drastic, but it just hurt me too much girl. So much so that at that juncture where each pulse was beating with pain, anger and confusion, I thought that I’d be better off without you in my life. But it ain’t that easy, when all the fury has subsided. Everything just goes back to square one, and I’m clearly aware of how much you still matter to me. Perhaps we need some time apart, perhaps we needa cool down, perhaps I just wasn’t good enough as a sister, perhaps.. I don’t know.
I just hope that you’d take care of yourself, and not let anyone get close to your heart so easily lest you get hurt anymore. I’ll always remember the talks we had, the way I got to know you, the times we spent at Ray’s place, the stupid way we ate ice-cream, the way I chased after you at Downtown East, and so much more.. Thank you for being such a special part of my life. You were always there when I pictured the future in my mind, and I sincerely hope that you’d still be.
Or maybe my Mom’s handphone is capable of churning out text messages on its own? Hmmm. 
You know who you are.
